what is it about watching your children sleep?  why/how do they look so perfect?

peaceful, safe, still.  i can't resist ruffling ben's hair when i check on him at night.  just touching that perfection.  stealing part of that peace.

wonderful night with jason and diane.  mmm cooked and did dishes.  treat for me.  drank much wine with boothie and meandered down memory lane.  jason and mmm hung their heads and waited for the storm to pass.

ended the evening with this song on my mind:

rhett miller, our love

Richard Wagner's letters to his lover Mathilde were a mess

He should have quit before he had written the address

They made love on the mezzanine, her husband was his friend

Vienna in a fugue-state working on a thing that when he finished it took almost seven hours to sing

He still found time to write to her

His heart exploding words

Our love surpassed

Our love so fast

Our love's all wrong

Our love goes on and on 

Our love became

Our love by name

When I wrote it to you in a song

Our love goes on and on

Kafka in his letters to his lover Milena was a live

But he was waiting for a love that never would arrive

Their rendezvous was singular

Her husband was his friend

She is a living fire 

She is a reason to live

She is killing me burning only for him

I'll spend my whole life loving her

My heart exploding words

...

such a song

such a band

if ben were a girl we were going to name her mathilde

mattie

so glad we have ben instead