Wednesday, October 15, 2008

such great heights

in a thinking place this evening.  thinking about motivations, fate, the little cogs in the machine that line up to create what it is that makes up a person's life.  family, friends, work, pleasure.  driving forces.  what drives me.  

i feel compelled to create a home and a life for my husband and child (and bonus children) that is warm, loving, aesthetically pleasing.  this is why i identify with mrs. ramsay in to the lighthouse.  this is why i wash woodwork once a week.  this is why i stay awake into the wee hours perfecting royal icing for sugar cookies.  this is why i fixate on seed catalogs mid-winter.  yes, i enjoy these things.  yes, they bring me pleasure.  but the impetus behind it all is to create a home that is so filled with beauty and love and comfort that none of us ever want to leave.  

of course, i don't even come close to succeeding at that.  but if you've ever wondered why i do the things i do, that's why.  you can think i'm an anti-feminist if you like, but you'd be utterly wrong.  no one is forcing me into this role.  there is no expectation for me to be as i am.  this is a choice.  who i am.  

in the spirit of creating a warm and cozy homelife, this evening i prepared a fall feast.  pot roast with a cabernet glaze, roasted parsnips and shallots, and roast acorn squash.  soon to be followed by pumpkin tea cake.   

it's a beautiful fall.  vibrant and calm, i think.  love the open windows, the rhythm of the crickets, the smell of drying leaves.  

i liked today.  liked it a lot.  

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