just gotta say

i'm feeling it right now.  feeling every little thing.  this trip- see, the thing is i've never had this kind of attachment before.  never had to think of the ramifications of leaving a child behind for so long.  tears at my heart.  has me frazzled and guilty and questioning.  feel like a bad, selfish mommy.

but also feel so excited and joyous.  what an adventure.  what a gift.  the things i will see and do- the time i will spend with my mother.  that is precious time.  that is a lesson i have learned.  and let me take this time to say that i could not imagine a better husband.  who does this?  such a gift of time?  experience?  stops my heart when i think of it.  

uncle a arrived this evening.  so good to see him.  so grateful he came to take care of baby b.  takes a load off my mind.